Dear BSNL, hope all is well with you. I hope I am not interrupting you during your lunch time (even though its only 7am now). Have I pissed you off? Did I catch you at the wrong time, just as you were leaving for a cup of tea? Was it my mistake of breaking into English while speaking to you in Kannada? Was it anything to do with last Diwali? I am at my wits end. I have given a complaint on June 14th (vide complaint number 14061281). It has not been solved yet. I guess the complaint number refers to the date, month and the sequence number of my complaint. 1281 complaints in a single day? No wonder you are busy.
My problem is simple. I am not getting the braodband speed that is promised and paid for (out of fear of being disconnected). When I checked last, I was getting a glorious speed of 52.70 kbps (I am promised 1MBps and above). Since I am on a high end plan which costs me an arm and a leg every month, this is simply not acceptable. If you were a private company, you would have lost my business. Not that you care.
And I have no one to complain to. Your call centre is a joke. It takes a minimum of 50 attempts and a wait of at least 20 minutes to speak to a human being. I feel like Mel Gibson in Conspiracy Theory – the guys at the call centre know me by my voice and simply disconnect after hearing my complaint. I can imagine the high-fives & whoo-whooos that follow my call. I have personally visited your office to invite the linesman or line engineer to drop by house and check the problem. Zilch. Illa. Ille. Ledhu. I was pleasantly surprised when a lady came on at the call centre last Friday and said that my complaint has been registered to the Supervisor and I would be called on Monday. Hum Bangalore mein ho kar bhi, qatar mein hain.
I would have gladly switched to Airtel but that is an unknown devil too. They have not helped the cause by taking more than 2 weeks to respond to my broadband request. Thought they would like new business? Anyway, the prospect of visiting your office and going through the process of plan change or disconnection scares the hell out of me. I am at your mercy.
I wish you all the very best for your IPO. I shall celebrate your success by paying my broadband bill 2 days in advance. I think I am beginning to like you. Is this what psychologists refer to as Stockholm syndrome?
BSNL, test hai mere liye. Testing my patience, that is.